"Learn from your mistake", that's everybody is telling me, I answered: "YOU DON'T NEED TO COMMIT MISTAKE JUST TO LEARN"
Without pain, there would be no suffering, with out suffering we would never learn from ouR mistakes. To make it right, pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there's no way of life.
Every one always thought would be ok... However all thoughts are wrong as per a band say in thier song " Marami ang namamatay sa MALING AKALA!!!"
I thought we have a relationship, I thought you love me, I thought all we shared together was SPECIAL, I thought the long talk we have were true, it only entertained you coz I am the one who's calling you. After work, I tend to text you if i got home safely or want to know your whereabouts, and after that, I used to call you then have a little chit-chat eventhough we're together for the whole night. We never ran out of story to tell,On my rest days we tend to talk over the phone for long hours, sharing stories, and expierence in lifes and anything under the sun.
However all them were just to entertain you while you're wasting your hours to talk to me, And I thought all your laugh was true, Yes! it's true coz I tend to make you smile or laugh sometimes coz of my funny antics. However, still you just laugh or smile simply because you were just entertained...
You know it's different if you see a lady smiling because she's in- love, you could see even her eyes is smiling too... And I don't see that on you... You even intentionally hid me to every one, At that time I was in a relationship with another womaan, so that's acceptable and of course reasonable coz you don't want to be tagged as "MISTRESS or OTHER WOMAN". And i respect that, All who know that we have "SOMETHING SPECIAL" are those people who were close to you, and I have to tell it also to one of my close friends too...
Now as time passses by, you simply drop me for some lame reason which I can't understand why....
Moving On would be very hard on my part, I love you so much It's hard for me to let you go... I just respect your decision that you have to let me go for someone else coz you're Happy NO MORE with me. And you don't want to be tagged as kept woman or other woman, MISTRESS.
As in the process of Moving on, I need to divert all my attention to something that I could not think that I was a fool in love with some one which you don't know if she love you or not...
Eventually, I found out that she doesn't LOVE ME EVEN A BIT in the time that we were still together, And she leaves me because she was not Happy in what we have at that moment, she could prefer a single rather than sharing time with someone,Yes! I admit I'm unfair, coz I'm having two relationship. I'm being unfair to her. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her." as per ANNE CURTIS's line.
Now as I have moved on, I am enjoying living my life ALONE, I found out that
you have a relationship with a guy who have a family, and you are proud to be his girl, eventhough you told me last time that you don't want to be tag or called a MISTRESS and here you are, having an affair with a family guy, I'm not saying that I'm clean or what or I don't commit mistakes. What really makes me not understand is, you are what you don't want to be,
I see you walking with the girl you replaced me with. You looked at me and you make it looks like we've never met. I looked at you, yes, I see you happy with her. All I can say is I'm Happy for you..those words might come out of my mouth like that, but inside, it kills me how you acts like you don't know me and to see you with someone else.
yeah! It's not my business. It's your life anyway, my question is, when you're with me or you were wasting your time with me, you're not as proud as you are right now, It shows that you DON'T LOVE ME at all. And you're so much IN- LOVE with him that to the extent that you hang along with him in the public as if he don't have a family, unlike with me, you hid our relationship to every one to the extent that you even deny that we have a relationship at all. And now you are mad at me? coz what your man know that we have a relationship and you deliberately deny it.
I can't blame you, from the start all I know that you love me! As time pass by, you let me feel that I am NOTHING to you, you make me feel worthless and if it's posible that you don't know me at all you would do it... and for my benefit I just found out that you NEVER LOVE ME at all.
I know by myself, that I have mistakes too. In the first place I let myself invovle to you. And I assume that we have a relationship or you are in-love with me... I was stupid enough not to notice that you didn't love me even a bit, You just find me NICE.And don't KNOW what you're thinkin, for me you just make me believe that YOU LOVE ME but the TRUTH is NO! YOU DON'T!
That's one of the main reason why you kept what we have to everyone and you don't want anyone to know that there's something going on between the two of us, All that we share and enjoyed are all lies, IS THAT TRUE? Sorry for being sO bitter to what happen to me, I just can't get the point what you're in right now?
JEALOUS? HISTRIONIC? YES! MAYBE.... or I just LOVE you so, and it's hard for me to let go... My friend told me it's about time to set you free, coz if you would pay attention closely to her eyes you would see that she is VERY HAPPY where she is right now, whatever she is doing she is very much contented and happy whatever the consequence would be,and she is perfectly know what she is dealing with... She's is intelligent enough to make her own decisions...
I suddenly paused and realize, I'm just being unfair to her or to myself, She doesn't love me and I still keep loving her, eventough I know the fact the she would NEVER love me...
I realized that she was never been mine, and NEVER would be, she just let me expierence of what's life if I would be with her, and I would not regret the days that I 'm with her even she acknowledge me as her boyfriend or not...
If you can't solve it, it isn't a problem - it's reality. And sometimes reality is the hardest thing to understand and the thing that takes the longest to realize. But once it hits you in the face you'll never forget it. It will always be there in your memories and sometimes that is the best way to look at it.
It's the loneliest feeling in the world - to find yourself standing up when everyone else is sitting down. To have everybody look at you and say "what's the matter with him?" I know what it feels like. Walking down an empty street, listening to the sound of your own footsteps. Shutters closed, blinds drawn, doors locked against you. And you aren't sure whether you're walking toward something, or if you're just walking away.
YOU WERE NEVER MINE AND NEVER WOULD BE....
